Crash and Burn
by FINNCHEL101
Summary: Ok, so this is my second attempt at Twilight. Maybe this time I will do it some justice. So this is a humorous Bella and Edward story. Bella and Edward have been neighbors since they were kids. What happens when Bella the popular girl and Edward the nerd come up with a plan to get their significant others back? Will there be sparks or will it backfire? Rated M for later chapters.
1. Welcome To Forks

A/N: Ok, so this is my second attempt at Twilight. Maybe this time I will do it some justice. So this is a humorous Bella and Edward story. Bella and Edward have been neighbors since they were kids. What happens when Bella the popular girl and Edward the nerd come up with a plan to get their significant others back? Will there be sparks or will it backfire?

Hope you guys enjoy it.

Bella is upstairs in her room trying to find something to wear to school. "Nope" She throws a blue top on the already growing pile of clothes on her bed. "Uggg." she lets out a frustrated yell. Why was it so hard to find something to wear it wasn't like she had that many clothes? She had been going through her closet for what seemed like hours to find the perfect outfit so Garret would finally notice her. Garret was the guy that every girl wanted captain of the football team, good looking and for a popular kid he was pretty nice. I continue my quest for the perfect outfit when my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer

"Bella!" the very chipper voice rings on the other end.

"Alice, what's up?" I groan into the phone.

"Aww…did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Alice teases me.

"No, just trying to find something to wear today." I tell her while throwing clothes out of my closet.

"Bella, Bella why don't you just ask your mom I am sure she has something you can wear." she informs me. I love Alice but sometimes I wonder about her.

"Alice I want Garret to notice me not think I am easy." My mom has some really cute clothes but unless I was wanted to go for a stripper look that was out of the question.

"Oh, come on Bella not all of your mom's clothes are trashy…what about that halter top of hers you know the one with the rhinestones on it. I bet if you pair that with your black skinny jeans and flats Garret would think you are hot." For once I think Alice had a good idea.

"You know I think I will ask her it is cute." I can not believe I am seriously contemplating wearing something of my mom's. I look out my window and notice my mom talking to Edward's dad god mom can you be anymore obvious. "Oh dear Jesus." I say out loud not realizing Alice is still on the other line.

"What?" Alice asks

"Nothing my mom is shamelessly flirting with Edward's dad." I roll my eyes and cringe.

"Edward…you mean that weird guy that lives next door." Alice asks.

"Yup." I tell her

"Well have fun with that I will see you at school." Alice tells me

"Ya….thanks." I hang up the phone and go outside to ask my mom about the shirt.

Edward's house

I rolled out of bed and headed downstairs to find something to eat in this house. I open the cupboard and grab a bowl and the cereal. I open the fridge to see that there is no milk in there. "Great." I mumble to myself. I look out the window and see that he is talking to Bella Swan's mother Renee. "Bring the milk dad." I say thinking that by some strange twist of nature he would hear me and bring the milk. After realizing that he is not going to bring the milk in anytime soon. I go outside.

"Dad." I try to get his attention but I know this is useless he is in a Renee trance, and then I see her Bella Swan the girl that used to be my best friend and then something happened oh yeah she got popular and ditched me.

"Mom." Bella who is also trying to get her mom's attention but she knows it's useless she is too engrossed in her conversation with Mr. Cullen to notice anyone.

"Dad hello milk." I wave my hand in his face which finally gets his attention.

"Son oh, I didn't see you there umm….you know Renee and Bella right?" He gestures towards Bella and her mom as Bella rolls her eyes.

"Mom can I borrow you halter top." Bella asks ignoring the look that Edward had given her.

"You know you two used to be such good friends what happened?" Bella's mom asks. As Edward gives her a smirk.

"It's called High School mom." Bella glares at Edward and stomps off not wanting to take a trip down memory lane.

Forks High.

I pull up into the parking lot and park next to Alice. I grab my bag and get out of my car.

"Oh…my god Bella you look hot." Alice tells me while inspecting my outfit.

"So you think Garret will like it?" I ask kind of regretting my choice of clothing.

"Bella trust me he will like it." Alice reassures me. "So got a date to the prom yet?" Alice asks a bit too happy.

"No, I think I am going to see of Garret asks me." I tell her as we head into the school.

"Ok, and if he doesn't ask you?" Alice asks

"Well then I guess I will go alone." Alice looks at me like I have two heads or something.

"You're what? I'm sorry did you say you would go alone? Bella come on you are the senior class president you can not go to the prom alone." You know I love Alice but she has this thing in her head that a girl can not go to a dance alone it's like against the rules or something.

"Alice look there is nothing wrong with a girl going to the prom a lone." I tell her as I open my locker and see Edward and his geek patrol walk down the hall. I see him flash me a mischievous grin I glare at him and slam my locker shut.

"Ok, fine…fine I get it." Alice digresses knowing that she is not going to win.

"I guess we better get to class or something huh?" I tell her as we head down the hall.

"Dude did you check out Bella today?" James tells me as we are standing by my locker.

"Nope." I tell him as I shut my locker door.

"Dude she is smoking' hot how do you live next to her and not want to hit that?" James begins to go on and on about how hot Bella is. James has had this unhealthy crush on Bella since we were kids and even though she would give him the time of the day even if he was the last man on earth he still tries.

"James give it up already." I hear Jasper my other saner friend tell him.

"What?" James asks innocently

"I think this thing you have for Bella is unhealthy." I tell him as we walk right by Bella and Alice. Per usual she just glares at us and well the smart ass that I am just grin at her.

"One day my friend one day." James tells me as we part our ways. As I am abruptly pulled into the janitor's closet by Victoria. We start making out like we do every morning. It was one of the few things that actually made my day at hell better.

"So…there's this thing over at the Java Café want to like go or something." She asks me breaking the kiss.

"Vick it's really not my thing hanging out with a bunch of beatniks." Vicki is one of those feminist girls which is cool but it's not my thing.

"Oh, come on Eddie you used to love going." Vicki tells me.

"I hate going to those things all they do is rant about saving the planet or some bullshit." I tell her as I take a seat on the mop bucket.

"Well…fine then if you think it's a waste of time then don't go." she huffs

"Come on don't do this." I grab her arm

"No…really it's cool go do your thing and I'll do mine." She says as she walks off.

I run my hands through my hair in frustration not sure of what just happened. I head to class before I am late.

Lunchtime

"So are you going to the party tonight Bella?" Rosalie asks while munching on a fry.

"Na, I think I am going to stay home not really feeling the whole party thing tonight." I tell her looking over at Edward and his friends who are tossing a football around.

"Bella, come on you have to go." Alice chirps. What is it with this I have to go crap?

"No, really I'm good." I tell them still focusing on the three buffoons in the court.

"You know Alice I don't think she's into Garret like she says." Rose pops in as she notices me looking over at where Edward and his friends are.

"Hmm….maybe I'll ask him to the prom since Bella has her eyes set on someone else." Alice teases.

At this point Rosalie's boyfriend Emmett McCarty comes up to join us.

"So ladies what's the news?" He asks taking a fry off my tray.

"Well….Alice and I we were just trying to convince Bella here that she should come to the party tonight." Rose tells him placing a kiss on his cheek

"Come on hells Bells you have to go I mean who's gonna play beer pong with me?" Emmett asks roughing up my hair.

"Really that's the only reason you want Bella to go is so you have a beer pong partner?" Rose hits him in the arm for this which he so deserved.

"Oww…Babe that hurt." he says rubbing his shoulder.

"Fine…I will go." I told them finally giving up. It was best if I did.

"Yay!" Alice claps her hands.

"No….don't even think about it." I tell here knowing that she is going to want to play Barbie make over with me.

"What?" Alice asks innocently.

"There will be no playing make over Bella got it." I tell her

"Ok…fine but we will pick you up at seven." She tells me as she gets up and dumps her tray.

Once again I find myself rummaging through my closet looking for something to wear to tonight's party. I finally settle on a light blue sweater that hugs my body a pair of skinny jeans and my gold flats. I decided to leave my hair down and used little make up. I gave myself one last glance in the mirror and headed down the stairs.

"Bella honey?" my mom says to me.

"Mom." I tell her

"Your dad called and he wants to see you this weekend." she tells me.

"Well….that's nice." I tell her. Don't get me wrong I love my dad I really do but the thing is that he says he's coming to see me but then he flakes out.

"Look I know you're upset at him for the last time he bailed on you but, he promised he would come pick you up and take you out." I loved my mom she always tried to see the brighter things in life.

"Fine whatever but…if he ditches me again he might as well forget he has a daughter." I tell her as I walk out the door and smack! I hit something warm and hard.

"Shit." I curse.

"Well…Well." damn Edward and that cute smirk of his. Wait did I just say his smile was cute. I shake the thought out of my head.

"Sorry." I mumble as see Alice and Rose pull up in Rose's convertible with Emmett hanging his head out the window like a dog trying to get fresh air.

"Hurry up chica we don't want to miss out on the hot guys." Alice yells out the window. I give a slight smile towards Edward and head to where my friends are at.

"So what did loverboy want?" Alice coos

"Alice he's my neighbor and I kind of literally ran into him." I tell her giving her a look.

"Fine." Alice shakes her head and sighs.

Later that evening.

Jasper, Edward and James are in the middle of some parking lot killing time.

"So I met this girl." Jasper says jumping on the hood of the car.

"Dude how many times do I have to tell you that your first cousin doesn't count." I tell him as I punched in the arm by him.

"No…she's not my cousin and that only happened one time dude one time." Jasper grabs a chip.

"So is she like hot?" James chimes in.

"See….I haven't like met her met her." Jasper says as we both look at him like he has lost his mind.

"So she's made up then?" James and I start to razz Jasper about this girl.

"No I met her online during one of my WOW battles." Jasper maybe one of my best friends but he's also the biggest geek I know.

"Oh…so she's like a fairy princess or something?" I ask jumping off the car and grabbing my board.

"No her name is glitter princess." Jas begins to go on about this girl he met. James and I almost lose it when he tells us her name. "What? She's a really cool chick I think I am going to ask her to the prom or something." Jas continues.

"Ok….then." I just look at him.

"So what's up with you and Victoria?" James asks as he skates around the parking lot.

"She dumped me because we're not into the same things." I rolled my eyes not wanting to get into this conversation with these two idiots.

"Aww….did we get tired of eating tofu and smoking clove cigarettes?" They guys start giving me shit.

"And this is why I don't tell you two shit." I tell them as I mess with the wheels on my board.

"Guys we gotta go looks like I have to pick up another too drunk jock." jasper tells them as they all get into the car.

At the party Bella is standing by the pool watching Garret make out with some random chick across the way.

"What's up Bella rooney." an overly boisterous Emmett comes up.

"Nothing." I tell him as I pull my eyes away from Garret and the skank.

"Where's your drink Bells?" Emmett asks.

"Don't have one." I shrug my shoulders.

"Well….here drink this." he tells me handing me a glass of some purple crap. I chug the whole thing not caring about the after effect.

"Whoa slow down there Bells." Emmett tries to caution me but right now I don't care.

"Can you believe that Garret is going to the prom with some skank that he ran into at the game?" I begin to rant about the unfairness of this situation. He was supposed to go with me. I mean class president and captain of the football team are supposed to go together right? I continue my little mental tirade.

"Hey Bitches!" Alice greets us along with Rose in tow.

"How much have you two had to drink?" I look at them.

"Not sure." the both shrug their shoulders. While I take another glance at Garrett and the Skank.

"So what's with Garrett and skankzilla?" Rose asks taking a sip from her drink.

"Apparently she is like the love of his life." I roll my eyes and finish off my drink.

"I heard that it was like love at first sight." Alice says all dreamily.

"Alice you are not helping at all." I tell her. I had finally had enough of Garrett and the skank being thrown in my face so I decided that I needed another drink.

"Bwella where ya going?" Rose asks her words slurred.

"Gonna get another drink." I tell her showing her my empty glass. I start walking over to where a bunch of kids from my class are doing keg stands. I contemplate doing one with them but with my gracefulness or lack there of I'd probably knock myself out or something. So I opted for the guy that was handing out those purple drinks that Emmett was drinking. I make my way through the sea of people and take a seat on one of the patio chairs and let out a sigh.

"Mind if I join you?" A velvety voice says next to me.

"Whatever." I say not bothering to look up.

"Well…aren't we a ray of sunshine." I know that sarcastic tone I look up and it's none other than Edward. I glare at him and continue staring at my drink. "Ok…then sorry." he holds his hands up in the air.

"Sorry just having a shitty night." I apologize realizing that I was being a slight bitch to him.

"Ya, that makes two of us? So what's in the cup?" He asks noticing me staring into my cup.

"Not sure something purple and fruity." I tell him.

"Mind if I have some?" he asks I nod and hand him the cup as his hand brushed mine I felt this weird spark. I shake it off.

"Sorry about you and Victoria." I tell him.

"Ya, so am I." He tells me looking out into the crowd. "Heard about Garrett that sucks." Ok does everyone know about Garrett hooking up with skankzilla as Alice calls her?

"Whatever." I shrug my shoulders and take my drink back from him.

"Hey you gave that to me." He tells me as he tries to take the drink back from me.

"No, I told you that you could have a sip." I tell him sticking my tongue out at him.

"Fine, whatever not like it was any good anyway." We continue our banter for a minute. I had forgotten how much fun it was to banter back and forth with him. "So…you want to like get out of here or something?" He asks taking me off guard.

"What? You mean like you and me like alone?" Ok that so did not come out the way I wanted it too.

"No I was thinking more like maybe I could like walk you home or something. Wouldn't like want you to fall and get hurt." Have I mentioned what a smart ass he can be?

"I am not that drunk Edward." I tell him as I try to get up. While I was expecting to fall completely on my ass he caught me by the arm and I was face to face with the most gorgeous set of emerald green eyes I had ever seen.

"Maybe it would be best if Jas and I gave you a ride." He tells me looking into my eyes.

"Ya." I say breathlessly. What the hell is wrong with me? Edward lets go of me and we walk over to where Jasper and James are at.

"Hey Bella." James winks at me.

"Oh god just kill me now." I glare at James and get in the car. While I hear Jasper and Edward laughing. God this has to be the worst night ever.

After Edward and his geek brigade dropped me off at my house I stumbled upstairs and started going through my yearbooks to find a date to the prom. Although I had no problem with going by myself Alice was right I was the class president I couldn't show up alone. I kept flipping through the pages and all the guys were either taken, gay or just plain old creeps. I through my yearbook in frustration and looked out my window towards Edward's house. Hmm…I thought he wants to get Victoria back and well I need a date to the prom what could it hurt. I grab my phone and dial his number.

"Hello?" Edward answers the phone.

"Take me to the prom." I tell him leaning out my window.

"Who is this?" He asks I can hear him laughing on the other end.

"You know who this is….you know Bella your neighbor?" I tell him…while I know damn well he knew who it was.

"Bella? Hmmm….I don't think I know a Bella." He teases. This in return is starting to piss me off.

"Never mind." I shake my head and I can see him laughing at me.

"Why would you want to take me to the prom…what no one else want to go with the almighty Bella Swan?" He tells me in his usual sarcastic tone of his.

"Ha, Ha so funny come on…what if I told you that you could get Victoria back." I tell him trying to sweeten the deal.

"How is me going to the prom going to help me get Vicki back?" He can't be serious can he?

"Haven't you ever wonder what it was like to be part of the in crowd?" I know this is pretty much useless but I am desperate.

"Oh, ya I've always wanted to go to pep rallies and sell cookies." Ok is it bad that I can actually hear his eyes rolling at me while he is telling me this?

"Oh, like your beatnik pow wows are any better. What do you guys do anyway? Play the bongos and smoke clove cigarettes?" I tell him thoroughly annoyed at this point.

"We don't play bongos." He tells me.

"Fine whatever…do you want to get Victoria back or not?" I ask him point blank.

"Ok…fine I will take you to the prom. Happy?" He tells me finally giving up.

"Thank you." I tell him as I hang up the phone and end up dropping it out of my window. I look up and see him laughing at me I slam my window shut and got to bed.


	2. The Plan

A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews this chapter is a bit short but it's just a filler chapter I am working on chapter 3 I will post it tomorrow. Alright so her ya go.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Uhgg…what did I do to myself last night. I think to myself as I roll over to look over at the clock I notice a familiar yet not so familiar face staring back at me.

"What do you want?" I ask Edward who has shown up in my room wearing his usual black beanie cap, a very loud orange shirt, and khaki cargo pants.

"Here I brought you this." He tells me handing me a glass of water and two Tylenols.

"Thanks." I tell him taking the pills and drinking the water. "So what are you doing here anyway?" I ask him. While pulling up my blanket.

"I thought that maybe we could like work on that prom thing you were talking about." He grins at me. "Oh and here's your phone too found in the rose bush." He tells me pulling out the phone from his pocket.

"Thanks. " I tell him as I take the phone from him. "Ya, that…..first off if this whole thing is going to work we have to make them think we are like couple." I begin to tell him as he is messing with the laces on his shoes.

"Wait….does this mean that I have to go to pep rallies and shit?" He asks me.

"Come on if we are going to make people think we are a couple we have do things we don't want to do." I tell him.

"So like you have to go to one of my D&D games." he tells me knowing how much I hate that game.

"Ya…ya I'll go to one of your B&B game thingies." I wave my hand at him.

"So….shouldn't we have some sort of back up plan?" ok I am not sure what he is talking about.

"Back up plan?" I ask confused.

"You know like an easy out clause….like if one of us wants to bail we can." He explains to me.

"Oh ya, sure but….first we have to do something about that outfit." I tell him gesturing to his clothes.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" I hear him ask.

"Well…let's just say if you are going to play the part you must look the part." I tell him realizing this is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

"Fine as long as I don't have to wear some itchy ass sweater." I try not to laugh at his comment.

"I promise no itchy sweaters. So…today we are going to go shopping." I tell him and I see him cringe.

"Fine whatever you want." He rolls his eyes at me.

"Good…oh and tonight is Emmett's birthday party so you are going with me." Not really asking him just giving him a heads up.

"But I promised James I would hang with him." Edward whines.

"Oh…come on can't you like hang out with him another day?" I ask him. Taking one last sip of water.

"Fine whatever so I'll like see ya or something." Edward gets up and walks out the door. God this is going to be a lot harder than I thought. I throw my covers over my head.

Forks High

"Hey, Bella." I hear James call to me.

"James what's up?" I ask him

"So word has it you like need a date for the prom." Is he serious? I think to myself.

"Actually I kind of already have a date." I tell him as I see Edward walking towards me. He is wearing a charcoal grey button up, his hair is this unruly sexy mess wait…did I just think his hair was sexy. Oh dear god this is not going to be easy.

"With who?" James asks just as Edward walks up.

"With Edward." I say this as James starts laughing.

"Hey hun." I greet Edward with a kiss on the cheek.

"Uh…Hey." Edward awkwardly stands there. I know he hates this but I kind of think he looks pretty good. Who knew?

"Oh, man this is good." James says in between laughs. Which I take this as my cue to leave.

"Well…I've got to get to class. So I'll see you tonight right?" I look over at Edward and he gives me a slight nod.

"So you and Bella huh?" James says eyeing my attire.

"Dude shut up." Sometimes I just want to punch him in the face.

"Wait until the guys hear about this one." James says as he walks away leaving me standing in the middle of the hall. This is going to be a long fucking day I can tell. I proceed towards my class.

Forks Cafeteria

Bella, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jake, Paul, Sam and Leah are all sitting at one of the tables. While Jasper, James, myself and Mike Newton are all hanging out by our table.

"So dude what is up with the clothes?" Jasper asks trying to contain his laughter.

"Trying something new." I tell him taking a bite of my burger. I take a quick glance over at where Bella is sitting.

"Ok…so what's the plan for tonight?" James asks changing the subject.

"Mike and I were thinking of inviting Seth and Sam over for a D&D game. What about you Edward?" Jasper explains.

"No can do my friends I have to go to this party with Bella and her friends." I know I am going to get a bunch of shit for this but I really don't care.

"Since when did you become buddy-buddy with them?" Mike nearly chokes on his food. Jasper looks at me like I have gone insane. While James tries his hardest not to laugh.

"Oh, you didn't hear? Bella and Edward are going to prom together." James tells the gang and the whole table is laughing.

"Thanks guys." having had enough of these yahoos ragging on me I decide to make my way over to where Bella and her friends are. I mean if we are supposed to be dating then I should get to know her friends right?

"Hey mind if I join you?" I say taking a seat next to Bella and kissing her on the check. Everyone's mouths' are agape when I kiss Bella and I see a small blush form on her face.

"Ya, sure. Everyone this is Edward. Edward this is Jake, Leah, Paul, Emmett, Alice, Sam, and Rose." I give a slight nod to the group.

"So Edward I hear you're taking our Bella to the prom?" Jake tells me as he glares at me. What the hell is wrong with this dude? I look over at Bella.

"Ya, I am you have a problem with that?" I know this may not be the best thing to say seeing as Jake could possibly kick my ass.

"Jake why the fuck do you care aren't you like taking Paul or something?" Rose punches him in the arm.

"So Jake is gay?" Emmett spits his milk over the table.

"Dude you couldn't tell by the way he dresses?" Emmett tells me as he wipes up the milk on the table.

"I just thought he liked wearing pink pumps." I non chalantly say. While the whole table busts up laughing.

"Bella you need to keep this one." Emmett gives me a friendly pat on the back. Which in return Bella rolls her eyes.

"Oh…look Emmett has found a new friend." Rose and Alice gush. For being a bunch of popular kids they are very much like me and my friends. Who as I look over are holding up a sign about my pants? I flip them off which catches Emmett's eye.

"You know you're friends could join us I mean the more the merrier right?" Emmett offers waving Jas and the guys over to the table. I shake my head knowing this is not going to be good at all as I see Jas, James, and Mike walk over.

"Really Emmett." Bella looks as uncomfortable as I do.

"So what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?" Mike asks in his sarcastic tone.

"Well…Emmett her thinks that since our Bella is dating your Edward that we all need to be friends or something." Leah says rolling her eyes.

"Do you really mean it….we get to sit with the cool kids?" Jasper pretends to faint while James catches him.

"Anyway these two noobs are Jasper and James and bonehead over there is Mike." I shake my head in embarrassment of my friends.

"Well I'm Alice and this is Emmett, Rose, Jake, and Bella." Alice is making googly eyes over at Jasper.

"Nice to meet you darlin'." Jasper says is his southern drawl which only comes out when he needs to impress a girl or something.

"So you dudes comin' to my birthday party?" Emmett asks Jas and James.

"Uh, ya you're joking right?" Mike laughs at Emmett's request.

"Dude it's gonna be epic. Unless you have some other plans and well then that's cool I suppose." Ok I have no idea what the hell is up with Emmett but he seemed to be legit.

"Well…some of the guys were gonna get together and play some D…" I cut Jasper off right before he makes us look like uber geeks.

"Don't mind him he's a spaz and doesn't know when to shut up." I apologize for Jas and his idiocy.

"It's cool dude but seriously since Edward here is going and he's a cool cat I figured I'd invite you cool dudes." Emmett puts his arms around Jas and James. They just look at me and I can't help but laugh at them.

"Really?" I just shake my head feeling like I am in the Twilight Zone or some shit.

"Ok, as real as this has been I've gotta jet." Bella gets up to leave and I take this as my cue to exit too.

"Hey Bella wait up." I yell as I give the group a nod and go after Bella.

"What the hell was that?" Bella asks me giving me what looks like a death glare.

"What? You said we had to look the part." I try to play innocent but she is not buying it.

"Ya, look the part not become one of them." This is the point where I am confused. Is she pissed because, I kissed her, or that her friends like me?

"What the fuck Bella? You're pissed off because I was interacting with your friends?" I decided to leave the kiss part out anyway not like it was a big deal or anything.

"Nothing sorry….just having one of those days." Her face softening a bit.

"So…let's say you and I skip the rest of the day and head out to La Push or something?" What the hell did I just ask Bella out?

"Sure why not." wait did she just say yes?

"Really, you're going to skip class with me? Won't that like ruin your rep or something?" I place my arm around her and then I feel this weird jolt of electricity. I shake it off as nothing. That is until Bella pulls away rather quickly. "Sorry." I quickly apologize thinking I did something wrong.

"You're fine." she grabs my hand and smiles as we walk down the hall together. I can't help but feel something change between us.


End file.
